If a person is forgiving someone based on their own strength, their emotions of the day, or on the temporary good behaviour of the other person, they will be let down the next time the forgiven party re-offends. We will always be waiting for the next shoe to drop and when it does, we will pull out our very long list of grievances from that person and start from square one all over again. Forgiveness is not about how we feel about the person, or whether that person is deserving of forgiveness, but rather a command from God.
When we obey God’s command, we should never do it begrudgingly. God always knows our heart and will always look for our heart motive. Therefore, when we forgive, we should do so with a willing heart and joyful, wanting the offender to experience the same grace as has been extended to us by God, through the blood of Jesus.
The world gives us daily opportunities to act in unforgiveness
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT) Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Every day we are given the opportunity to lose patience, to be unkind to someone, to be jealous of another, to behave rudely, to be proud and boastful, to be irritated, to demand justice for a wrong. Every day we are given the opportunity to feel justified in our unforgiveness towards others. Every day we are given the opportunity to cast judgement on another and say, “they hurt me, it’s not fair, they don’t deserve forgiveness”.
And because there is a daily opportunity to act in unforgiveness, we are given this daily prayer:
Matthew 6:9-13 (NIV) “This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.
It is saying that we will all goof up and need daily forgiveness and that others will offend us, and that we need to forgive them.
God asks us to forgive and walk in love. God asks us to live contrary to this world
Romans 12:17-21 (NIV) Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap, burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT) Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
In fact, we are to continue to forgive.
Matthew 18:22 (NIV) Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
The question is how can one develop a willing heart to forgive?
Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV) For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
So, if Almighty God can forgive us who are undeserving, then who are we that we can’t forgive others?
We are not perfect, and neither are our enemies. This is why we need the blood of the lamb to wash us clean.
It was not fair that God would send His son to pay for our sins, yet He did!
Forgiveness is not about fairness. It’s about love.
Matthew 22:37-40 (NKJV) Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
How can I love God that much, and love my neighbour as myself?
1 – You cannot love your neighbour like yourself if you don’t actually love yourself
2 – You can only love yourself if you see yourself the way God sees you.
3 – God sees you as righteousness, forgiven, washed clean by the blood of the Lamb, and fill with His Holy Spirit
4 – God sees you as a new person
5 – If you believe that God has done all of this for you, then how can you not love God with all you heart, soul, and mind
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
If Almighty God can forgive you, then you can forgive yourself!
If God can forgive you, He can forgive others.
If God can forgive others, you can forgive them too.
If you don’t think that’s possible, it’s like saying that the Cross was not enough.
If alternate thoughts invade your mind, they are nothing more than a lie of the enemy.
And if that is happening then you have to take captive every thought that exalts themselves absolute truth of the word of God. It is the enemy who comes to destroy, and he will try to destroy our relationships through any means like:
Impatience, jealousy, boastfulness, rudeness, pride, anger, resentment, demanding, irritation, injustice, giving up on people, etc.… (1 Cor 13)
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NLT) We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4 We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.
God best for us is to forgive!
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
If we are saved, then forgiveness for others is possible because we have been given God’s Spirit which produces fruit. We can’t do it in our own strength.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
How can we do this:
Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
And it IS pleasing to HIM to forgive!!
By reading the word of God, our minds and hearts will be renewed! The Holy Spirit will continue to reveal God’s love for us all.
John 15:12-17 (NKJV) This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another.
Mark 11:25 (NIV) 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Luke 6:37 (NIV) 37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
What are the consequences of unforgiveness?
Our spiritual growth and walk with God are seriously impacted
We don’t give room for God to work in our lives
We remain as prisoners
We continue to relive the grief
Our hearts become hard
We become self-centred
All of our relationships suffer and are shallow
We turn inward and become isolated
Our physical and psychological health are negatively impacted
Nothing ever seems good enough or fair
We sometimes even sweep things under the rug as in out of sight out of mind, while the mound under the rug gets bigger, tripping you along your journey in life
Our decision-making process becomes tainted
Ask yourself – When someone sins against you, do you:
- Forgive them and pray for them, or
- Complain about them to someone who makes you feel justified
The goal is to start seeing everyone through the eyes is Jesus!